December 29, 2010

Biopsy results and Christmas

Completely consumed with Christmas, I realized I forgot to post about the results of my biopsy. Negative!! It was just a benign tumour. I am doing a dance as I type, well, wiggling my feet and toes, anyway. 

I don't have much else to write. Christmas was great, and my kids were really happy with their presents. I actually had to wake them up Christmas morning. I remember getting up and opening presents at three o'clock in the morning when I was kid. This year, I woke my four and five year old up at eight o'clock. Unbelievable. Was I the only kid who just couldn't wait, who would go without sleep and wake up in the wee hours of the morning because I simply couldn't stand it anymore? 

On the writing front, I am being completely unproductive. Having everyone home has given me so little quiet time. I am actually looking forward for vacation to be over so I can be on vacation again--sans husband and kids. I think my life is a little messed up. Where most people look forward to weekends and vacations, I am the complete opposite. 

December 12, 2010

I think I need a new doctor...

Three weeks after the scary biopsy, I still didn't have my results back. Last week I called my doctor's office to ask if they'd received them, and the receptionist said they'd just got them back. She put down the phone, talked to the doctor and returned to tell me I need to make an appointment, but that it was 'non-urgent.' What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does that mean 'no cancer' or does that mean 'it doesn't need to be dealt with today.'

Naturally, I didn't accept this as a response because I know if you have stage one breast cancer, waiting a few weeks isn't going to make you terminal. I asked the receptionist if she could ask the doctor to call me to which she responded, "I can tell her, but I can't guarantee she'll call." Oh my freaking God. It is not like I'm waiting to find out if I have a hangnail or the flu. I might have cancer for cryin' out loud. My three week wait has become four and I am seeing her this Wednesday morning.

I ask you, "Would this make you move on?" I mean, where's the empathy here. She couldn't pick up the phone to say I don't have cancer. Is this too much to ask?

December 03, 2010

Breast Cancer?

It's been a little while since I last posted. Unfortunately, life and school have taken precedence, leaving very little time for writing or blogging. Right now, I am in the middle of exams and a health scare.

For those of you that are new to my blog, I found several lumps in my breast last year. At the time, they decided I would be closely followed, but that I didn't require a biopsy. About a year and half later they've now decided they want to biopsy it. This news came about a month ago.

I had the procedure a couple of weeks ago and am waiting on the results. I know from the ultrasound-guided biopsy that the lump they're concerned about is for sure not a cyst so I'm a little panicked. I guess you could say I've been on an emotional roller coaster waiting to find out if I have cancer or not. It isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. I've lost a significant amount of drive lately. I sit in traffic and think, "Wow. I just wasted an hour of my life.' Needless to say, I have cut a lot of nonessentials out of life just because I feel as if life is too short to do anything I don't want to do. I'm hoping I get over this because I have a feeling my marks in school are going to suffer. The only thing I want to do right now is spend time with my family and write.

Although I know the chances of my having cancer are slim, it doesn't make me feel better. When I asked for a mammogram a few years ago my doctor blew me off because she said I was too young. And yet, here I am with a small mass that needs to be investigated. Lucky for me, I do self breast exams. Finding the lumps made my doctor take me seriously. I encourage you to do the exams yourself. Be your own health advocate. Sorry, I don't mean to preach. But, I do want to mention I had a male patient two weeks ago that had breast cancer. You don't have to be a girl to get it. It doesn't discriminate.

So, the next time I blog I will be crying, either because I'm elated or scared. Hopefully, it'll be the former.